Something new, something lost

Good evening everyone,

So!  Every once in a while we do something that is totally different and sometimes it is completely out of character.  Earlier this week, Tuesday to be exact, I visited with Dolores who is a Reiki Master.  Dolores and I met via the internet and over a period of time we got to know and trust each other and became friends.

As I said, on Tuesday we got together, had lunch and after that, she asked me if I wanted her to clear my energy Chakras.  This would be a new a new and different experience for me.  She prepared her treatment room by cleansing the air with incense and then she invited me to enter the room and lie down on my back on her treatment table.  For those of you who know me well, you can probably guess how up tight I was at that moment.  I started to relax by breathing slowly, deeply, quietly and in a controlled manner as I have been learning during my Progressive Relaxation sessions.  

In the process  of getting started Dolores went to rub some scented oil on my chest.  I had to ask her to stop or be very gentle as my chest is very sensitive.  I have not been able to touch the center of my chest  for a number of years because it hurts to much and I have not been able to lie on my stomach because of that pain.

Over the course of the next hour I concentrated on my breathing and Dolores went about her business of clearing my Chakras and giving me Reiki energy.  I felt so peaceful that I feel asleep and woke up as she finished.  Here is the amazing thing about what she did, the pain in my chest is now completely gone and has not returned.  I have had this pain for years and years and suddenly it's gone.   When she cleared my "Heart" Chakra the pain was released.

You can believe it or not but, it is absolutely true. 

Good night everyone,

Lumpy

Progressive Relaxation Therapy (Report No. 3)

Hello all,

Yesterday (Feb. 27) I went in for my third session in the Progressive Relaxation program only to find that the program is currently unavailable due to computer problems.  Another minor setback.  Later on while I was having a Bowen Therapy session with Cher Boomhower ND, Jason's wife,  she told me that they are going to have a new chip installed in the lap top computer they use for the program.  The new chip will stop the computer from crashing when the program is in use.

I have made another appointment to see Dr. Filatov on March 4th.  I fear that another lump is developing on the right side of my face in a similar location/position as the lump on the left side.  If this is the case, perhaps there will be enough time to schedule another CT Scan to verify weather there is a lump or not before he performs the Panendoscopy on Mar. 13th.  I'm hoping that it is nothing and it's just my imagination.

That's the extent of this report, I'll continue to keep you posted.

Lumpy

Progressive Relaxation Therapy (report No. 2)

Good news to announce today.  Yesterday (Feb. 25) Service Canada advised me that my application for benefits under the  Canada Pension Plan has been approved to be effective Feb. 1, 2008.  I am greatly impressed with the speed and efficiency that Service Canada has shown in this matter.   I called Service Canada on Jan. 15th and requested that an application form be sent to me in the mail.  I received all of the necessary information and forms on January 21st.  I completed the application form and returned it duly signed on January 24th.   This morning I phoned Service Canada and requested that Income Tax be deducted from each cheque.  Imagine this, the first CPP cheque will be deposited in my account tomorrow.  Terrific service indeed.

Yesterday I went Jason's office and completed  session NO. 2 in the Healing Rhythms Program.  It was somewhat frustrating because again, the program crashed twice.  I eventually got through the session but, I will review the last two chapters on Wednesday this week before starting the 2nd Module.  

I was incorrect in my previous explanation of the course.  This is the correct course outline. There are three Modules.  Each Module has 6 chapters.  Under normal circumstances I will be able to complete each module in 2 hours.  So, rather than 30 sessions as I first thought, it will take three to 5 sessions to finish the training.

That's it for today.  

Lumpy

Update

Good morning all.  It's a fine sunny Monday morning in Prince George, currently -9C with a forecast high of +5 expected.  Unfortunately   mixed snow and rain are forecast for the balance of the week.

I have been suffering from the poor air quality here in Prince George since last Thursday.  My sinuses  and ear canals are plugged up and my whole head feels bloated.   I missed my Friday Relaxation Therapy session because I was feeling so poorly.  I will, however, be back at it today at 1:30 p.m.  Other than that I am a ok.

I spoke to OR Booking at the Prince George Regional Hospital this morning and I am scheduled for a Panendoscopy on March 13th and I have an appointment with the Anethesist (sp) on March 6th .  Dr. Filatov was to reschedule my procedure for the 6th but, I guess he was unsuccessful. Brad will drive down to Prince George and stay with me for a couple of days.  I am looking forward to his visit although it I prefer it was under different circumstances.

So long for now,

Lumpy

Progressive Relaxation

Well Good morning all,

You may remember that I was going to update my visit with Jason Boxtart ND on Feb. 18. Jason a source of support and strength for me.  He has a program on his computer created by "The Wild Divine Project" which covers Progressive Relaxation under the title "Healing Rhythms".

This is a modular training program which comprises 3 modules and each module has ten chapters.  A typical chapter is broken down into 6 sub-sections and the trainee (me) works through each chapter over a course of two hours.  Jason provides me with a comfortable relaxation lounge in his office where the computer is located and has given me free access to this program on Monday, Wednesday and Friday of each week from 1:00 to 3:00 PM.  Usually the cost of this program is $45 per session plus GST so , you can see that he has given me a wonderful gift of knowledge to help me get through my battle with cancer.

I am heavily indebted to him and I will study this program with great intensity and willingness. I will keep you posted on my progress.  At this point I cannot tell you what each module covers because I am not aware that there is a general overview or index for the program.  I have looked at the first module, chapter one and it starts off with breathing exercises as a means of relaxation.   On Wed. this week I started this chapter but, the computer crashed several times and I was unable to finish it in the alloted time so I'll redo it today.

That's it for today my friends.  

Lumpy

Yawn!!!! I am having problems sleeping

Good morning all,

Yukity, yuk, yuk!!!!!!! Its just barely after 6:00 AM Pacific Standard time and here I am sitting in front of the Mac.  I have been sleeping poorly recently.  I cannot seem to get my usual 8 to 9 hours per night.   I am now lucky to get 5 consecutive hours.  I am weary and dragging my butski this morning.  I will be able to snooze later today and take care of this weary feeling.

Yesterday (Feb. 20) I saw Dr. Filatov under rather unusual circumstances.  Let me explain.  The Prince George Regional Hospital, Operating Room Booking called me to advise that the Panendoscopy Procedure has been scheduled for Mar. 13th.  I was mildly disappointed having thought it would take place in the 1st week of March.  I asked the caller why I had been scheduled for the 13th rather than the 6th of March and was told rather bluntly that only 1 panendoscopy is performed in any one day because they only have one "roto rooter" used in the procedure (its actually called a Loringo scope).  So guess what I said?????  So why don't you wash it?  That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard.  And then I asked who decides who gets the procedure on any given day and she said the OR Booking nurse.  Again I asked why the Doctor doesn't do that and she said because she does it.  Well I was certainly disappointed.  How does she know if one patient  has a higher priority rating than another patient.

I then called the good Doctor and he got right on it.  He called the hospital and while I haven't heard any thing official yet, he has apparently said that he will perform three Panendoscopys on March the sixth.  The Hospital policy of only doing 1 procedure a day is flawed and he wants it reviewed.  Good for him.  Way to go Doctor Filatov.  I can definately see you are on my team.

Anyway, he also asked me to stop in and see him yesterday afternoon because I told him that the lump is growing each day and I am concerned.  He saw me at 4:15 ish and said that the lump appears to be bigger but not overly so.  He then reviewed the CT Scan done on my chest on Tuesday this week and while it is not his area of direct expertise, he said there was no indication of any cancer in my chest area.  Very good news indeed, yippee.

We then went over the Feb. 6th CT Scan of my neck and facial areas .  He looked especially closely at the nose and throat areas looking for signs of cancer hiding there.  Nothing was visible on the scan.  The Panendoscopy will give him a chance to take "scrapings" from the nose and throat areas and discover if the cancer is there.

I asked him again about what kind of cancer he thinks I have.  Answer:

1) Carcinoma is his No. 1 guess.  He thinks that the cancer is migrating from the back of my nose or throat area.

2) Lymphoma would be his No. 2 guess.

3) Sarcoma, highly unlikely. 

4) Melanoma but, he thinks this is very unlikely and all but ruled it out.

Now I sit and wait for the Panendoscopy keeping my fingers crossed that he will do the procedure on the 6th of March but, at worst it will be the 13th of March which indecently was my Fathers birthday (1910).

That's it for today everyone.  Be happy and look for reasons to smile.  I am.

Lumpy

Reflections

Good afternoon all,

I had a CT Scan yesterday Feb. 19 in Quesnel.  All went smoothly, the weather was wonderful, almost spring like.  Sunny and warm for this time of the year and the roads were clear and dry. I put some tunes on and bepopped from here to there as if I was already there.  The CT Scan itself is a piece of cake, really.  You know what bothers me the most?  I have a deep fear of needles which goes back to childhood days and the IV makes me uncomfortable and I tense up tighter than a drum skin.  But its over now and I survived. 

I have to say that I feel much better today and feel like I have regained control of my emotions. When I met with Jason Boxtart on Monday I was almost totally out of control and it was most comforting to have a sane and sound shoulder to lean on.  As with most professionals he is trained to handle people in stress and distress.  It came down to this:  I am scared, frightened, terrified, you chose what word best suits the terror I am facing.  

Its soooo easy to be up beat and positive, its my nature.  Equally, its just as easy to be in denial and ignore the realities of this deadly disease and pretend that it is a simple matter of saying I can beat it or I will be cured through the marvels of modern medicine.   But that's  "BULL SHIT" and we all know it.

I'm terrified and the cures are equally terrifying.  So, what to do?  First things first.  Grab a hold of myself, learn to control the fear with in me.  Then learn to respect it and stop denying it and maybe most importantly accept it.   In other words, come to grips with the nature of the illness and what it can possibly do to me and recognize that it may kill me and then move on. 

More to follow later.

Many of you have told me that you are having problems posting comments.  May I suggest you try to post a small comment first.  The system is a little bit unfriendly  and will not accept anonymous posts so, you have to register with google before you can post a comment.  I leave that up to you.

Bye for now,

Lumpy

 

Hippity Hop to the CT Scan Shop

Good morning everyone,

It's close to departure time for my trip to Quesnel, B.C. for a CT Scan of my chest and abdomen.  Yesterday was a very poor day for me emotionally.  I sort of fell apart and was just a quivering mass for most of the day.  On the bright side I had an appointment with Jason Boxtart ND (Naturopathic Doctor) and we had a good chat.  I will post more on my visit with him at a later date after I decipher my notes.  Later in the afternoon I had a Bowen Therapy session wife Cher Boomhower ND.  She was able to loosen up the muscles in my upper back and I'm feeling much better for it.  

I spent some quality time with my good friend Adele trying to get my emotions under control and she was a real trooper and fed me a delightful chicken dinner.

I am feeling more like my old self this morning and I am looking forward to the drive south.  It is a bright sunny morning here in Prince George, current temperature is -13 C with a high of +2 expected.

More to follow.  Bye for now,

Rick opps! I mean Lumpy

What do you think

I invite anyone who visits this blog to add your comments.  That way not only do I get to see what you are thinking so will all of the other visitors.

Thank-you,

Lumpy

More from Lumpy

Another one of my friends in Bala, Ontario, Bill Purkis sent this to me yesterday Feb. 16th 

"When I broke my neck and was in a body cast for eight weeks I spent quite a bit of time visualizing my spine healing and went so far as to obtain a copy of Grey’s Anatomy in order to educate myself about the parts of my body that were involved and the way they interacted. As an example, I visualized hundreds of tiny workers inside my neck with endless coils of the strongest silk ropes lashing my cracked and dislocated vertebra back together and into alignment. I know it helped me at least feel that I was doing something to help myself and I am convinced it helped me to repair myself." Can you see the similarity in thinking?  And it comes from such widely different sources.  I think you we are onto something here.

You may have noticed that I have adopted a new name "Lumpy", as in "Words from Lumpy"  My friend D'Arcy Regan in Toronto first called me Lumpy a couple of weeks ago.  He also sent me this note in another e-mail: "Has the doctor determined if the lump in your throat has a string attached or not?  Probably not, but sometimes we overlook the obvious."  I liked it so much that I have used it over and over in a number of my e-mails to family and friends. 

Look at what my sister Janet sent me this morning from Hilton Head, South Carolina: "I'm pulling on the string of that lump, right along with you, man its really a heavy rope and needs all of us to pull together, a real tug of war...  I think we'll win...I wonder if there is anyone who could do creative visualizations with you...you visualize yourself defeating the army malignant cells in whatever way works for you.  I know several people who used it effectively."   How awesome is that.  D'Arcy sent me a little ditty to make me feel better and Janet has turned it into a possible cure.

Please feel free to add your comments to this posting or any other postings/comments.  That way everybody visiting this blog will know exactly what is happening and what other people are thinking.

Thank-you all.

Lumpy

This a complete update as of Feb. 16, 2008,

Thursday February 14, 2008 was a day from "quesnel" if you catch my meaning.  It was as if someone punched me in the solar plexus and I did not recover all day.  I decided then that Friday the 15th would be a new beginning for me.  I decided to pick myself up by the bootstraps and forge on.  I will find reasons to smile and laugh and be positive about what's happening to me and around me.  No more snivelling or feeling sorry for myself. 

Around Christmas time I noticed that the left hand side of my face and jaw was starting to swell.  I went to see my Doctor on January 10th thinking I had swollen glands.  She sent me for an Ultra Sound examination on Jan. 14th.  The results of that procedure were forwarded to Dr. Filatov the local Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat specialist here in PG.  I saw Dr. Filatov for the first time Jan. 25th and he examined me.  Golly, he inserted this two foot tube with a camera on the end of it up through my nose.  It was the most painful and uncomfortable experience of my life and something I don't ever want to have done to me again if I am conscious.  The Ultra Sound showed a lump of 5.5 mm located in my neck under my left ear.  He then scheduled me for a CT Scan which I had done in Quesnel on Feb. 6th.  And then I had a second appointment with Filatov on Feb. 8th.  I had the CT Scan in Quesnel (115 kms south of PG on Hwy 97) because the Hospital here in Prince George is booking procedures into May now. 

The tumor/lump showed up quite clearly on the CT Scan and Dr. Filatov estimated it to be over 2 cms in diameter.  The attending physician in Quesnel had not dictated his report by that time and that was disappointing. 

Dr. Filatov did a "fine needle biopsy" and took four different cell samples from the lump on Feb. 8th.  It was more painful than I was led to believe it would be but, I survived.  I asked specifically if the lump was an affected Lymph Node and he said yes but, he still refers to it as a lump.  The results of the biopsy arrived at Filatov's office Feb. 13.  On Feb. 14, 2008 my life was forever changed at 8:30 in the morning when Dr. Filatov told me that I had cancer and the lump was malignant.    Had the Doctor in Quesnel done his report in a more timely manner, we would have known a week earlier that the lump displayed cancerous characteristics.

Dr. Filatov does not know specifically what kind of cancer I have.  He mentioned several types of cancer that it could be and one of them was lymphoma and the name of other type escaped me and I was to rattled to remember to ask him.   Since the lump is malignant, I have to have a 2nd CT Scan in Quesnel, this time of my chest to determine what if anything is there.  During the 1st week of March he will perform a Panendoscopy where I will be sedated/put to sleep and he will search around inside my mouth, throat, neck and other areas with a hard scope and try to determine where this cancer has migrated from and what it is.  During the same procedure he will take another biopsy of the lump from the inside.  If he is able to determine that the lump is the primary area of the cancer and not the secondary area as he now thinks it is, treatment could be a lot easier.  Keep your fingers crossed that it will be as simple as this.  My Son Brad will come down to PG from Fort St. John to be with me during that time and give me moral support and whatever other support I may need.

After all of this I will meet with Dr. Filatov and more decisions will be made some of them being a referral to the Cancer Clinic in Vancouver, which is reputed to be the finest in the Country, for further diagnosis and or radiation treatments, chemotherapy, surgery and on and on.  I am wondering to myself why he (Filatov) just doesn't remove the lump right now.

I will wait for the results of the Panendoscopy before deciding what to do next.  Sorry to burden you with this terrible news.  I will keep you up to date as things progress.  Talk to you soon,

"Lumpy"